July 4, 2010
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Finland Condones Wife Stealing; USA Complicit, But Less Capable
As I’m sure you’re all aware by now, the entire world has been swept up in the sweaty arms of competition. Sports are in town, and the Finns are dominating. In fact, they won it all. The title for the international Wife-Carrying Championship goes to Finn Taisto Miettinen, who narrowly beat out silver medal winner Alar Voogla, from Estonia (though Miettinen won using the Estonian style of carrying wives, so his victory in woman-taking is at least partly due to the Estonians anyway).
And sure, it’s all fun and games when you’re carrying away a friend playing your “wife” through a pool of water, and over artificial hurdles, but who’s going to have the last laugh when some nefarious Nord decides it’s time to put those skills to the test where they really count? Who will save your women on that day?! I can well imagine some slack-jawed sucker chasing after a tall, blond Northerner, buxom brown-haired wife tossed carelessly across his broad shoulders as he runs over hill and over dale.
“No, she’s having fun, really!”Sure, we expect this kind of behaviour from the vikings, who after all, are just reconnecting with the traditions of their pillaging fore-bearers (you should see the contests those guys had, back in the day!) but the Americans? Just because they weren’t as able to carry a wife as efficiently as a European, doesn’t mean they didn’t try as hard. And tell me, how comfortable are you in knowing that a fellow American is representing your country in a sport founded by local thug and actual woman-thief, Herkko Rosvo-Ronkainen?
I don’t want to tell you how to run your country, pal, but if I were you, I’d look into this. If you’re going to keep at it, you might as well become number 1, right?
Comments (21)
Wife-carrying championship?! That’s hilarious. It would have been fun to watch it.
Note: Using my suspect geographic skills, I’ve decided to assume the Finns are (or were) counted among the ranks of Nordic Vikings at one point or another.
are you trying to be outrageous or just plain hilarious with your point of view?
@Konrado - Um. Neither. This was an entirely serious dispatch from the contest.
LoL, that’s quite dramatic. Be careful though, cause some macho dude might carry your wife off.
It is the new version of “sweeping her off her feet?”
I saw the sports and it is hilarious – really. Everyone is muddied, soaked and thoroughly enjoying themselves.
How did you do teh Facebook like thing?
This is awesome! I enjoyed this.
@MagisterTom - Pretty easy. Copy the link of the post you want to put it in, then go here:
http://developers.facebook.com/docs/reference/plugins/like
Then just pop it in, change the setting, and put the code it gives you into the weblog editor for that post.
@NikBv - I tried the iframe code, but xanga deletes it. It seems like you are using the xfbml code instead. I notice on your site you also have a script in the header. Is there something more I need to do?
I’m using the new editor if that makes a difference.
I would hate to see some Viking hunk throw my wife across his shoulders. She might like him more than me and then I would have to steal another man’s wife.
@MagisterTom - Yes, the new editor makes the different. I was quite frustrated with the entire process until I found that out. The older editor seems to allow it (the iframe), though. So far I’ve not been able to get the XFBML to work.
If you’re interested, the wordpress editor also doesn’t allow it, though the blogspot/blogger one does.
@NikBv - Ahh, that made a world of difference. Thanks!
@MagisterTom - No problem. Here’s hoping xangans catch on and start clicking. It doesn’t share their real names as having liked the item on the person’s blog page (unless you’re A] logged onto facebook while reading that blog page and B] facebook friends with a person who has liked that post) so there shouldn’t be any privacy concerns. So, while it doesn’t tell xangans your facebook/real name, or tell your real/facebook friends your xanga account, it does help spread xanga content with the wider net a bit.
@ANVRSADDAY - hahaha, touché.
What we really need is a wife tossing championship.
…
I want to be carried around. It’s better than walking.
@crapndun - Uh… no thanks.
That’s whack, yo.