August 19, 2010

• Gremlin Markets

  Once upon a time there was a dog named Sinister. Each day, Sinister would walk to the well with his master, a French Horn, carrying a basket of daisies to sell to the Gremlins who lived at the bottom of the well, where they held a flower market.
   
  

  Frenchie and Sinister would pick the flowers from the garden at the end of the lane, bundle them together with twine, and then distribute them to whichever Gremlin merchant offered the best price that day. Sometimes it was the short fat one who wore the three-cornered hat. Other times, it was the tall, mean looking one who spent his time at the Gremlin Bar, drinking the urine of baby horses. But mostly, it was the pretty Gremlin lass who owned Flowers’n'Things.
   
  Poor Sinister had such a crush on Finnier. Her dark blue hair sparkled through the well-water, and her laughter was like the trilling sound of a thousand dying ants. It captured his canine heart, and held it hostage. And so, every day, he would offer his flowers at a discounted rate to Finnier. He couldn’t resist! The heart wants what it wants, even in the depths of a Gremlin market.
   
  One particular day, Sinister and Frenchie decided to get an early start on their flower collecting. That way, they’d have lots of time later in the day to go wandering through the woods, mastering goats and burying wombats. However, when they arrived at the garden at the end of the lane, they found another dog already there! He was magnificent looking. Tall, and powerful, with muscular haunches and a thick, glossy coat, he cast an impressive and threatening shadow over the rather modestly proportioned Sinister, who was suddenly quite aware of his own motley fur. In fact, thought Sinister, he hadn’t even remembered to floss his teeth that morning!

   

  Just as he was pondering this dilemma, the other dog turned around, and Sinister suddenly became aware that the animal that faced him was not, in fact, a male dog, but was instead a bitch! The massive animal, female though she might be, still presented a formidable threat to Sinister and French Horn, standing between them and their flowers as she was. So, bracing himself for a tussle, Sinister quickly reached behind him, and took out his switch blade knife. Then, when the opposing animal leaped, he dived to the side, and stabbed, up, and into her heart.

  She was instantly killed!
   
  Frenchie blew a few quick celebratory notes, but there was no time for an entire song, so the duo quickly collected their flowers and made ready to leave. And yet, as Sinister moved to close the gate behind him as he left, he came once more to glance upon the fallen body of the beautiful female dog, and he was struck by the sight of it. He found he could not abandon this creature now!

  Quickly, he and French Horn gathered the twine they normally used to bind the flowers, and attached it to the fore-paws of the dog on the ground. Then, tying the other end to Sinister’s tail and Frenchie’s bell, the two set off to the well.

  Once at the bottom, Sinister sought out Finnier at Flowers’n'Things. She’d know what to do! How to properly respect the defeated foe!

  Glorious in her element, the little Gremlin immediately untied the body, and began skinning it with her claws. Within minutes, the pelt came to be completely separated from the body. Tossing that over a rack, she then moved on to the body, which she deftly filleted. Then, tossing a few choice flank steaks onto a rack above the fire in the back of her little merchant’s corral, Finnier, Sinister, and Frenchie retreated to the corner to enjoy the aromas of the cooking meal.

  In no time at all, it was ready, and the three began to dine. It tasted as delicious as it had looked, just before Sinister stabbed her! Soon they were done, and all quite full and satisfied.

  And, indeed, Sinister got a very sound deal for his flowers that day, as well as a healthy new coat of fur to replace his mangy old one.

  And so, with a few parting blasts from French Horn, and a quick kiss blown in the direction of Finnier, the two fast friends moved once more, out of the Gremlin market, and home for bed.

  The end.

  

  • 7:54 am
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